Hand Shakes and French Kisses

Or bonjour for short. (October 2007)

'Simon one of the farmer's cows has fallen in a stream and cannot get up, I'll drive over to their place and tell 'em'.

' Okay I'll go down to the stream with the boys and meet you there'

So Tom, Ben and I, and the dogs, find the cow in the stream and by this time one nostril and half its mouth is under water, so I hold its head up (which is non too light) out of the water. Rosie arrives and says she bumped into the family in the village and the farmer will get his tractor and come down. By this time my hand is getting a little cold and the cow is looking rather hacked off.

Ah, help at last - the farmer's wife, son number three, two daughters, the farmers father (the mayor), his mother bringing up the rear with the mother in-law. Eventually the farmer and his eldest son in the tractor. I'd just managed to reach for a small rock and prop the cows head up. Great - now this poor cow can be pulled out.

I should have known bettter. Why well here we go.......

......the farmer shakes my hand, the eldest son shakes my hand, the farmers wife shakes my hand, the mayor shakes my hand, the farmer shakes Rosie's hand, the eldest son shakes Rosie's hand, the farmer's wife shakes Rosie's hand, the mayor shakes Rosie's hand and the cow looks on. Ready, well the farmer kisses Tom. the eldest son kisses Tom, the farmer's wife kisses Tom, the mayor kisses Tom (who is not too impressed) and now you've guessed it, yes the farmer kisses Ben. the eldest son kisses Ben, the farmer's wife kisses Ben, the mayor kisses Ben and the cow still looks on and there is still the other son, the two daughters the farmer's mum and mother-in-law still to go and still the cow looks on. I'm sure the cow shakes it head at me! And believe it or not the dogs are then patted on the head.

At last the tractor is put into position and the cow is hauled out into a safe place. Said cow gives a sign of relief.

And after a quick chat we go our separate ways. Well after.............

......the farmer shakes my hand, the eldest son shakes my hand...........